I know you’re sleeping upstairs and I could say this is person but you’ve never been on to let me talk when you’re upset. I think I wanted you to find the texts. It’s not that I don’t love you. I truly care about you but you were never going to stop cheating on me. I played the coward and let you end it so I wouldn’t feel so bad. The truth is I still feel sad for losing you but I feel a weird sense of relief because I don’t have be cheated on by you again. Not again. Not one more time. I’m finally free even if I’m not free from the feelings I’m free from you taking me back. I can actually try to find someone who loves me and is excited to be around me now rather than someone who’s by their own words, is stuck with me. Remember you said that on Christmas last year before I ever even knew you were unfaithful and before I’d been unfaithful. I only cheated because I have bpd and when you cheated I felt like I was gonna be alone forever. That I’m not worth love but I know that’s crazy and untrue. Im just so scared of rejection. I truly love you and I’m so sorry we failed but thank you for all the good memories we did make. By seeing myself in you it really helped me grow up. I don’t wanna be a fat a** who sits online all day. I won’t let myself be that. I hope you find happiness, I know you will because you’re happy with a ps4 and something to drink rather than human contact but for what it’s worth, I hope you find that mythical place you just shack up and not work or cook or clean and just play your video games and ogle girls on Instagram.
