I am tired of “living for my children”. Although I love them dearly, I am extremely miserable. I am 27 years old and I live the life of an old bitter woman. I’ve been trying to steer away from it, but my life is becoming lonely and it’s agonizing. I have two daughters, 6 &7 years old, and I had never planned to be a single mom when I conceived my children. Their father and I had been together since the age of 16. I know this world is harsh and will say make better choices, but the choice is already made. I was once very happy, very young and full of life, now I feel as though every day is just another day. I feel very miserable, and depressed. I have no friends, no social life, and I haven’t had a boyfriend in over a year and a half, my last boyfriend was extremely abusive, unfaithful and absent. I feel like I am going to continue to “raise” these children in a zombie like manner, instead of a loving household I so desperately desire. I want a family, and I’m starting to become angry, even at God. Why? Because I pray for the same things every day. I know it sounds cliche, but I don’t think this is the lifestyle anyone should be living in their 20s. I do all that I can to change the situation, but I refuse to settle for any kind of relationship. As far as relationships go, I have not reached despair yet, so I am trying to let this pan out, but I don’t think people were made to be alone, or raise children alone. I hate the thought of “living for my children” & that is all I’m doing, I don’t see my life changing any time soon, so everyday I am just here.. very sad and depressed. I don’t think about suicide, but I do wish that I weren’t here. If things don’t change soon. I see myself on a very destructive path, such as substance abuse, because I don’t know how much more of this I can take.