Im sorry i was always too scared to tell you the truth Siren. Im sorry i was such a coward. Im sorry i was too blind to see that it wasnt wishful thinking, you really did care. Im sure of it. You felt it, like magnets. The music, the poetry. The quotes. Im sorry i ruined everything. Please dont drown because of me. Im not afraid anymore. Go ahead and Smite me. Judge me. Hate me. I love you. Im waljing away. Ill never firget you. Losing you twice will always be my worst regret. I made a bunch of posts today about me being nonbinary and all the sonq quotes are for you. Goodbye. If youre crying instead of laughing or furiously shaking your head Listen to “Later”. Ill always be your plan b. I owe you the rest of my life in servitude after what i put you throufh. Dont ever be afraid. No matter what happens, i will always be willing to take care of you. Im sorry if im way off base and delusional, but if so, just nod your head and smile, afterall its finally over. But i had to put all the cards on the table and give it one last hopeless shot. Even if i dont deserve it, i havr to try. I know you dont believe me, but id do anything for you. Ill post more song lyrics that say what I feel tommorow. Its ok if you think im gross and pathetic. Its just ok. Ive accepted everything. Take as many years as you need to heal, ill be 100% cooperative. I dont want to make it any more complicated than it has to. Good faith. Im not afraid to earn it. I spent a year being a c***. Imagine what a year of therapy amd my current medicatiom could do. I felt lime mu life was over a month ago. Bit npw i feel like my life is finally beginning. Ive always wanted inconditional love, bit ive never felt it until recently. Thats why im letting go. Thats why even if i never see you again, ill dedicate my life to being the person you once had such a fascination with. The person you believed i could be. Tgank you for saving my life. Thank you for being the best of my best friends. Thank you fir the compassion abd mercy. You are my guardian angel. Im sorry. I cant unsay the awful things ive said. Goodbye for now. Ill wait multiple lifetimes if it means ill finally be able to fall asleep in your arms under the pale moon. Also mushrooms arent drugs to me, theyre religious sacrament and medication. Maybe if i had a tgerapist when i met you, thinfs would be different. Im excited to talk to ger tommorow about me being nonbinary. Im scared to talk to mom and dad would disown me but she/they goes by she and they/them so i feel safe. A bit bummed youll never be able to give me a makeover, your style is flawless. Im genuinely proud of you. Im sorry i poked fun at your insecurities and acted like such a f****** lunatic. Im finally feeling like a person again instead of a dissociates ghost trapped in a h**** angry dysphoric meatsuit lying to itself.
