I hate alcohol. I hate when my husband drinks, especially when he’s out being social while doing it. I’m about 4 months pregnant and home with our two kids asleep. He came home barely able to talk, shoved past me when i opened the door with barely any acknowledgement, went into the bathroom and threw up. In the past he has s*** on the street and worse, peed in our bedroom closet. All over the clothes, and it leaked down into the lower drawers, which contained some of our baby daughter’s clothes. I didn’t expect him to be in this state when he got home tonight. I didn’t realize he was puking in the bathroom – I thought he was going to pee, but he didn’t. So he came stumbling into the bedroom and flopped down on the bed, stinking, and is too drunk to talk. I am uncomfortable with him being in the bed because I’m honestly not sure that he won’t either pee in his sleep or puke some more and not make it to the bathroom on time. He’s rude and can be so cruel and mean when he’s this far gone. I f****** hate it. He goes out to meet these guys he knows and keeps coming home like this. Thank God he doesn’t do it when the kids are up, they’ve never seen him like this and I think he’d have the sense not to time his drinking so that they’d see. But I see, and nobody knows about how bad it can be but me. We’re close with his father but he doesn’t even know my husband drinks at all (we live thousands of miles away so hiding it is a non-issue). I don’t really have friends that I can talk to about it. I’ve been cursed at, humiliated, and s******* assaulted (I don’t know how it where to draw the line between that and r***) by my husband under the influence of alcohol. It’s f****** evil s*** and I hate it and there’s no one to tell. I just googled this site, I don’t even know who will see this.