i was sexually assaulted by a family member. I know it's disgusting. I feel dirty. I feel worthless....before this i wonder why sexual assault victims

5 years

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i was s******* assaulted by a family member. I know it’s disgusting. I feel dirty. I feel worthless….before this i wonder why s***** assault victims always blaming themselves for something they didn’t do. Now, somehow i understand even though i don’t know why. After it happened, i find myself blaming myself for letting it happen. I was 13..i didn’t know anything. I was confused. I never told anyone about this except to the internet. Even my closest friend. Family. Nobody knew about it. I find it hard to talk about this, so i never did. I’m scared. I’m scared the reactions of my parents when they find out about this. I really wanna call the police but i’m scared my whole family would fall apart. I hate him. Worst thing is, i live under the same roof as him. Every day i gotta see his disgusting a**. I really wanna tell my mom but seeing my mom joking, laughing, happy. I don’t wanna ruin that. Every single day i think about it. But i always try to distract myself by doing other things but i still think about it most of the times. This. I always prayed for him to die. I can’t wait to get out of this house.

New Confession

I miss being 13 and going through puberty, it was just me and My mom, she was gone alot working or out with friends, She would leave early on a Sunday morning and go hang out with her friends, Id wake up after she left had the morning hardon, having to pee, plus I slept naked, I walked out to the front fully naked except id have my sandals on take leak out in the front yard completely n***, we had a new trailer mom bought us and we was on her dads land after they passed away, so lots of privacy, After I peed in the yard I would walk down a long dirt road and get the mail from the mailbox across the paved road from our long dirt driveway, id spend most of the days Naked and masterbating.

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Sister Marie told Carm that their meeting was about “oh, just something,” implying that there was no significant or serious matter to discuss.

Sister Marie intended to question Carm about the intimate details of her father’s death.

Sister Marie Howorth knew that this was a serious and sensitive subject, not a trivial matter.

Sister Marie Howorth deliberately described the meeting as insignificant to prevent Carm from anticipating the true nature of the conversation.

Therefore, Sister Marie Howorth lied to Carm about the purpose of their meeting.