I have been doing homeschool for a year now and it has really ruined my mental health. I’ve also had a lot of problems going on with my family and my life is a complete mess. I tried talking to my “best friend” and she just compared me to another person telling me that they were a perfect student and had a social life and that I should just try to be more like them. I feel like everybody has just turned their back on me and completely forgot that I have human feelings. My mom hates me and she is constantly arguing with me because my grades dropped after I got depression and all my friends stopped talking to me after I always tried to help them. No one really listened to my problems in the beginning and the person I considered my “best friend” only talks to me whenever she has a problem and needs someone to give her advice, but when I have a problem she does nothing to help. She also only tries to talk to me whenever her other friends don’t want to do something with her. I’m moving to a new country without my dad, I hate my body, I have terrible mental health, I have social anxiety, I can’t concentrate, and I don’t know who I am. There’s also many things that I decided to exclude from here, but so many things have led me to the edge of a cliff. I was about to take my life last night, but I didn’t do it just because I thought of the hard time my family will have. Over the years I have learned that you never truly value something until you lose it. Pretty cliché right? I still inflict self harm, I haven’t been able to stop doing it and I think I won’t be able to stop for a while. It’s crazy how life changes. I used to be a straight A student, I had a decent amount of friends, not so good but ok mental health and an ok relationship with my parents. Now I have hundreds of missing assignments, one friend (that is my cousin), horrible mental health, and a pretty awful relationship with my parents. I can’t see myself in college anymore, I don’t even see myself turning eighteen, but most likely I will see this post two or three years from now and remember how awful I was doing in some point. I will also remember my horrific vocabulary. If anyone reads this, thank you and I hope you have a happy life.