Whats love??
Part 1

Iam 30yr old, happily married and a mother of two year old baby boy. I enter into my marriage before four years after a long love relationship with my husband for nearly 9 years. Everything is perfect in my life, a happy family, good job, an understanding kid.. Everything is fair and good.. But all my life i always felt sad about a lost love ( though I hadn’t have one), despite my happiness and I always wondered why I have such feelings!!!

So here comes the story of my pain.

Ten years before I met a guy (call him Bob) during a conference and befriended with him. He was nice and polite and I used to text Or talk with him once in a while for the past years. We barely meet once in a year or two , that too during any exams or conference. Though we didn’t keep in touch regularly, we believe to share a good bond with each other. He hasn’t called me by name, even for once in the past ten years(if you believe it or not)!!, he may call me with some silly words as if I am a kid and still now nothing has changed in that. As I said we meet only once or twice in a year, and that meeting won’t last for more that 2-3 hours, still we were overwhelmed with happiness when we were together.

Though things were like that, there were times when I try to text him for more time, he seems to be irritated and he used to block me in social media sites. He used to scold me for no reason But I haven’t felt angry towards him for whatever he did to me and I can’t ever be angry.. I was the one who would always go behind him to continue over relationship whenever he tries to break it for no reasons.. Because I loved him so much. He was just more than a friend to me. I couldn’t define our relationship. I was not sure whether he considered me as a good friend or not. He was a person with fewer friend circle, so I wished to be his true and good friend..

I was always a person with short term memory. I couldn’t recall the events that has happened in my life (even those beautiful moments that I had with my husband back in my love days). But one thing I could clearly remember as a film is my first meet with Bob, our little chats, the 4-5 occasions we have met in our life.. everything about Bob was crystal clear in my memories.. Only things I could remember in my whole life is that related with Bob (u may find it little unbelievable, but it’s a truth!!).

I used to stalk him every now and then in all social media sites whenever I feel to see him (I haven’t stalked any other person in my life). I already told sometimes he would block me for no reason, and during that time when I wish to hear his voice and I could reach him, I may feel completely devastated and I may take days for me to return to normal. As I was used to this, I always coped up with those situations.