nothing i do will ever satisfy those around me.

no matter how hard i try, it will never meet their expectations.

i can dream of being what they want, that i can get by with grit and hard work, that i can climb up to the top, but, that’s not the case for some of us. some of us are literally cursed. some us are not made to be that person we dream to be.

how sad, isn’t it? how pathetic.

i’m tired, i’m exhausted, i don’t want to be here, i didn’t ASK to be here, and yet people make it seem like it’s my fault i exist.

God, please, i just, i just want this to stop. i’m begging you, please make this stop, it hurts so much, i’m tired of crying every night, i’m tired of crying randomly in the day when i’m alone, even when i don’t feel anywhere close to crying.

it’s like my body itself is in pain, but i can’t feel it anymore, my brain, or something, numbed itself. that’s a thing, right?

or, maybe my soul, maybe there’s a problem with that, maybe it doesn’t want to be tied to this earthly chain of a body anymore, maybe it wants to be free? i sure want to be free, or maybe, it just wants to cease to exist anymore?