I truly hate myself I'm almost 30 and haven't felt a true will to live since I was 12 .I quickly grab onto one thing (job , relationship,ext) and use it

I truly hate myself I’m almost 30 and haven’t felt a true will to live since I was 12 .I quickly grab onto one thing (job , relationship,ext) and use it to lie to me self that this is why I am alive. At this point I am living out of spite ,I work 2 jobs and a side gig to keep myself above water but I just don’t see a point in it anymore and I am trying my best to try and find reasons to fulfill myself. I’m just numb to most stimulation now. I just want to be sincerely happy again.

New Confession

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I’m a professional mountaineer. Healthy Slash Wealthy people pay me to climb mountains and be a part of their crew. At the 8000 meter mark ..

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