I have a pain that no kid should have. I’m the peacekeeper, the comforter, the rock, the shoulder to lean on, the glue that holds the whole thing together. That’s what I am to my family and to me they are my greatest burden. All their emotions, their problems, their petty little grudges are forced upon me too. They don’t like each other and because of that I am forced to put out fire after fire. Every fight leaves an opening for everything to fall apart and I keep that opening closed. Just me. Since Covid it’s gotten harder and harder to be there. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose them. It’s my biggest fear. This is the life I was born for. What happens when I become another one of their problems? Can they even survive that? I wish I could say “this is not my problem” and walk away but it’s because I love that I am everything to them.
