6 years
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I had a crush on a girl a long time ago. Hindsight tells me that I was young, inexperienced, and it wouldn’t have worked out for a variety of reasons. She ghosted me during a really rough point in my life when I’d convinced myself she was ‘the one’. It was another tough blow for me when everything else was falling apart, but I attempted to be mature about it for years. I might have actually believed that for a while. I moved on and thought things were looking up, but then ended up depressed again for other reasons, and it brought my mind back to her. My attempt to be big about it scabbed over into hostility and I really started to hate her for hurting me. I know it’s not really a rational or justifiable way of feeling but I keep coming back to this hatred that I know isn’t healthy. It’s unlikely I’ll ever see her again, and have no wish to have anything to do with her, but this feeling isn’t something I should be carrying around with me all the time.

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