When I was younger I would cry myself to sleep every single day

I’m on medicine now and I find I can almost never cry. The last time I cried was a hysterical suicidal mess. Manic, frantic. Awful.

I can tell I need to cry. The situations I would usually cry in it is missing. I catch myself losing a tear when I’m not paying attention or when there is a sudden overwhelming feeling

But I cant put enough into it so actually cry and get it out of my system…..its all just bottling up and I think I might be worried the next time I break down enough to cry will be the same or worse than last time.