Look I’m not the type to talk and rant but I’ve never felt like killing my self until my parents are so overly protective and strict it seriously kills me. I WISH A HAD A NORMAL LIFE WHERE I WAS NOT TRAPED my parents always make me feel nothing but pain they don’t let me go out cuz they are scared something would happen to me. Because of that I seriously don’t know how to socialize with others I get so sacred and lose confidence in myself. Today was my first ever breaking point after building my good girl act I front of them and now they are bad to the old awful ways of verbally abusing me as. I am so tired of this I just wanna ran away. I wanna be happy, I want to experiment. BUT NO. You know what I also hate, I hate that I go through a lot of s*** a 17 year old shouldn’t go too first of I take care of my grandma (don’t get me wrong I love her) but that means that I also gotta do well in school or my future will be at vein. TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THE HARDEST OART OF SCHOOL (I’m an ap and honors student) while helping grandma change her diaper, clean her up, give her meds, fed her. When I confronted my parents they said that what builds a person but then I snaped and said have you ever done that when u were my age. Not to mention I stayed and sleep on the floor next to grandma for 7 days at the hospital while there were COVID partents all around, translating everything to my parents, and not getting any sleep. Grandma is not doing well and she is gonna die so which makes me wanna die as well idk what do at this point and of course I have to be the stronge one while mom cries but all I wanna do as of now is cry in someone’s arms and scream. I am in so much pain it hurts.