i hate you. you mke my life a living hell. people tell me im supposed to love you because youre my mother but i wish you were dead and i will never forgive you. i wish i didnt have to call you mum. you have caused me to be like this and its only a matter of time before i get my hands on a s*** ton of fentanyl or a gun or a high a** building and fully f****** snap one day. i hope when i die you feel every single bit of pain that i did. that every night you wake up in a cold sweat and that your mind constantly races and you tear your hair out thinking about what you could’ve done differently. but you wont care, not for long. i already know im a burden and my death would bring you more good than bad.

im far past giving ashit at this point. im slowly dying and you couldn’t give a s*** in your dream world with your stupid abusive controlling f****** boyfriend. youre so insecure you dont see his flaws and how s*** he treats us. stop gaslighting. stop pretending everything is okay when its not. otherwise this will be my goodbye and i desperately dont want it to be.