I used to love my job and I was great at it. It was my identity. Then I was fired. I’m nobody now. I try to do side jobs once or twice a month and I bawl my eyes out the entire time. I get mad easily and lose my temper. I’m not confident in my skill any more. All I want to do is mutilate myself right now to feel something else. The emotional pain is so heavy that my body hurts. I hate myself so much and I can’t explain it to anyone.