A part of me wants to get the virus so I can just die already. I know that’s shameful to admit, but it’s the truth. I wear the mask for the sake of

6 years

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A part of me wants to get the virus so I can just die already. I know that’s shameful to admit, but it’s the truth. I wear the mask for the sake of others.

I do ketamine IV treatments for my ptsd and it unlocks your unconscious mind. Literally every time I do ketamine I think of my abuses and have a strong desire to die. I often do experience the sensation of dying during my trip and I feel a sense of relief that the journey of life is over. Last time I was high, though, I was next to the devil, which scared me. I guess my unconscious is in Hell. I guess I’m in Hell. I hope my next therapist can help me sort my s***. I’m tired of having a death wish. Either die or stfu, Brain, stop keeping me hostage to your neverending b*******.

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Colleen Mutimer Puglisi has a hairy bush.

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My wife knew i was a recovering s** addict when we dated, when we married, and knew that it stemmed from childhood maternal molestation many years ago. She knows i will not act out, that i love her too much to do that to her, and she knows to the degree any non s** addict can how exhausting the onslaught of compulsive intrusive s***** thoughts are. But she still rejects my sincere well motivated desire for surgical or chemical castration and i cannot understand why. We have a platonic relationship so it would be zero loss to either of us.