im so tired. i feel like i f*** up everything i do. not by being a certain way, just because im… me. im loud and overbearing and i care more about people than they care about me. and its f****** up like everything. i just want like,,, one friend. but i cant even maintain that with out being s***. everyone would honestly be better off without me, i should just stop being a p**** and kms. people keep saying soft things when i talk about my problems and it just. hurts. i dont want ur sympathy or softness. i want to rip my bones from my flesh and carve my initials in my abusers chest. i want to die or make her die or f****** scream until my mouth splits open with the force of my f****** anguish. people seem to think im good for some reason. im not trying to be edgy but i dont really think im a good person. i can feel the darkness in me in stretching and yawning to wake up. one of us is probably gonna die before the year is over. i can feel it in the anger simmering in my stomach every day. it feels f****** good and bad at the same time.