Tonight I remembered an awkward bit of conversation with a girl I like that might have included a let me down easy rejection. I wasn’t meaning to come onto her, but I have replayed this stupid s*** in my mind so many times, and like tonight it always ruins my day. I still haven’t come to terms that in all likelihood there’s nothing there and I need to stop holding out hope that I have a future with her. I’ve been beating myself up for the last few hours about this, and it isn’t the first time it’s happened either. They say that unrequited love constantly switches back and forth from euphoria to depression, and right now I’ve got a bad case of the latter. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel good again, but who knows how long that will last. At some point something either has to happen, which seem less and less likely as time goes on, or I need to move on, I’ve tried in the past but I keep building up this fantasy of a better life with her, and I’m ok lying to myself to get through the day.