I hate myself. I hate my body. People wouldn’t call me ugly, but I would. I do every day. I look in the mirror and see everything wrong. ‘Why does my nose

7 years

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I hate myself.
I hate my body. People wouldn’t call me ugly, but I would. I do every day. I look in the mirror and see everything wrong. ‘Why does my nose drop? My eyes are too far. My lip is uneven.’
I hate myself
Little things people have said have stuck with me. “Gosh why is your voice so high? You sound like a mouse. Shut up.” I have lowered my voice ever since.
I hate myself.
“I don’t make fun of her because she make fun of herself. You don’t. You don’t beat yourself up enough” if only they knew. I self harm. Not permanent, no blood. I scratch, scrape, burn. I can’t stop.
I hate myself.
I have so much to hate. I don’t cry. I don’t feel. I feel happy, but there is always a cloud. I can’t explain it. I hate it. I hate being trapped. I feel alone.
I hate myself.
My relationship with my family has been failing. I have been arguing with my mom much more. My sister can’t make up her mind! Does she want to hang out or not! I love my brother, but I can’t deal with him. I can’t.
I hate myself.
You aren’t alone. I am here. You don’t know me. You never will. But I am here for you. Whoever you are.
I hate myself.

New Confession

I knew what my girlfriend and her best friends boyfriend were doing in that room.
I could hear the bed creaking gradually getting faster until it was all out loud and careless. They were not sleeping after the party. I felt powerless to stop them and I didn’t tell her friend what happened out of shame. They both blatantly cheated and they got away with it.

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Short and sweer, nothing lurid. Never assume the predators are only men. Even mothers are, aunts and cousins are, sisters and grandmothers are. The motivations for women who engage in SA are simply different than those of male predators.