This is not a confession, this is something I go through that I do not know how to deal with, the house I’m living in is trapping me in, it’s like a prison, I do not have any way of connecting with the outside world, the people inside the house are the only people I see or talk to, but they’re very toxic, so I’d rather stay in my room, but staying inside all day, on a daily basis, is quite depressing, I might have an internet connection, but it doesn’t really matter, it doesn’t help me with anything except waste my time, I’m not fond with social media, even though that might be the only way I can actually connect with people, I still can’t do that, I’m not allowed to take pictures/selfies and post them anywhere, or I’d be in serious trouble, so how could I use social media, to gain relationships with people? I also don’t have a sim card, since I finished high school I have lost contact with the few friends I had while in school, yet I’m not allowed to get a sim card, even tho I’m an adult, I get treated like this, I don’t have a say in anything that has to do with me, I can’t wear anything but dresses or skirts, long ones, of course, I was never allowed to get a job either, they never let me get a job, but at teh same time they won’t give me money, and they expected me to be fine just that way, I can’t complain or tell anyone about this because they wouldn’t understand, since its very usual and normal for girls to live the way I do, here where I live, but I’m not planning on wasting my life living like this, but if I want things to actually change, I need to know where to begin, I don’t have any role models or people who I look up to when it comes to this since I’ve never seen someone escape from it, so, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do, I do not want much, all I really want is to see the world, to see people and just be happy with the life im living, rather than wishing death every two seconds.
All Comments
Run away.
lol I would have a long time ago if I had somewhere to go, or at least some money, either way, they’d probably find me and i can guarantee I would be dead by then
You are in an Arabic (Muslim) or Indian (Hindu) country, where, as a woman, you are expected to marry whoever your parents find for you in an arranged marriage.
If you run away, or meet a man who your parents do not approve of, then you might have brought shame to your family and they might decide to dispose of you in an honor killing, to protect the family name, which is more important to them, than you are.
As long as you are a virgin, then you have a value to them, for when they get you into an arranged marriage and probably whenever strangers visit, you would have to cover your hair and you might even have to cover your face, too.
You are a female and you are not considered to be of the same value as a man and thus they stop you from going out on your own and only then when your mother or father is with you, so that you feel totally trapped, as indeed you are.
They have their purpose and you can do nothing, because of your circumstances to change how things are – the only means you have of communication is through sites like this one, where hopefully there is no trace on the computer you use and no way, hopefully, to link you to this post – after all, it could be from anyone and never you.
By the same token you can’t go to Facebook, Twitter, or any of the other sites, because they would be able to see you had and thus you don’t like social media and neither do I, because I don’t trust it or the people who inhabit it.
You cannot use social media, to gain relationships with people, because your parents have a different purpose for you and I would guess that they are wealthy and they want you married to a wealthy man to enlarge their wealth by combining fortunes through your marriage to an approved son of a family of equal or better fortunes than themselves.
Because your culture is completely different to Western cultures (which I am), you have seen what life could be like if you were born in a different culture, but unfortunately, this life which I enjoy, won’t ever be something which you will enjoy and I understand how lost, confused and desperate you must feel.
We have seen how a daughter of the Sultan of Brunei ran away, got captured before she made it to England, was bundled on board an Emirates plane and has since disappeared and we can only speculate what happened to her – if she went to a forced reformation “school” or if she was disposed of, in some way and that is the fate which awaits you, if you try, especially with CCTV and goodness knows what to track you, so you really can’t escape whatever your parents have planned for you.
I suggest you download Glarys Utilities 5 which is free and use it to regularly clean out your PC’s hard drive, if your PC is not an Apple Computer – in particular “Tracks Eraser” and “Registry Cleaner” on a regular basis.
If it is an Apple Computer, then use a program to clean the hard drive of your Apple on a regular basis, so that nothing can be discovered on it – if you need assistance with that, let me know and I will find a suitable free program for you and tell you where to download it from.
Here on this site………..I look here frequently and I will see your notification “God willing”.
If you want to talk to me on a regular basis, we can arrange to do that,(in safety here perhaps) but I am a long way away from where you live (probably the same sort of hot climate) and we won’t ever meet, especially as our religious backgrounds are completely different, like the differences between chalk and cheese, but it is always nice to be able to communicate and have someone out there, who has a kind thought for you.