I’ve never felt more disgusting and unwanted than in this moment.
My boyfriend is the best. Well except for the fact that when he gets angry or annoyed he just shuts down and leaves me where i am in that moment.

We just got back from dinner. It was great, we were going back to my house and of course were going to do what all couples do. We’re always open to s***** talk between us, to get straight to the point i always give him oral, im happy to make him feel good. But he never reciprocates, i asked him to try just this once to eat me out. As i can almost never get off with just straight up s**. He keeps procrastinating and stuff, then just says he doesn’t want to.
I’m hurt tbh. I ask him, “is it ugly?” “Do i smell?” Etc. And he says “no you’re perfect” and goes on to talk about how he just cant do that and that if he was ever interested in giving me oral wouldn’t he have done it in the first place.
I wont lie. This really broke me. All i wanted was for him to reciprocate and make me feel good for once in this damn relationship.
I rolled over, and i cried.
He heard me, knew i was upset, which in turn made him upset, and he left. He just left me, laying here.
The thing is i just wish he didn’t get my hopes up to have that experience. Maybe then i would’ve felt the slightest bit better about the situation.

I feel disgusting.