I’m 19 and only after seeing a therapist have I realised just how abusive my mother is, and my father having left when I was a child means the only parent I really knew was my mother. I was never allowed to go to friends after 5pm until I was 16 and because I only got home from school around 4 I usually just figured it was simpler to stay inside so I never made any close friends, and the few I did my mother would interrogate (often finding out the last 3 generations of their families, and stalking them online to determine if they were “the good kind” of people. It’s been 2 months since I’ve seen my therapist and realised how much my mother verbally and emotionally abused me for my entire life and I don’t know what to do anymore. At times I consider giving up entirely.
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Holy fuck that’s actually awful. I’m really sorry to hear that. The best thing you can do now is to separate yourself from her. At her age she’s too far gone from changing so don’t try to make her understand. Luckily you’re at the age to live on your own now so I really do encourage you to leave and find a job somewhere and start life anew. With the money you make will come the opportunity to get out of your situation. But also, she really can’t control you in the way she did anymore. If she uses housing and feeding you as a threat, that’s all she has to hold over your head. Ask your therapist about ways you can be free from this. But you are doing great and once you reinstate your self-worth and esteem, your life will blossom before your eyes. Chin up buttercup. This is only the beginning