I hate my neighbours. They have been complaining everyday about stupid s*** that doesn’t line up with their traditions. Apparently, I’m not supposed to run baths early in the morning and I had to cut a shower short just out of the fear of them complaint.

That’s only the tip of the iceberg. What’s worse is that they have now latched on to the excuse that I’m making a f****** noise. No? Well I thought that you couldn’t hear s*** because the living room where I usually am is right next to the neighbor who lives on the other side. So given that in mind, explain to me how I can never hear you?

Next we have the poorest, lowest, most disgusting complement of feces to ever come out of a person’s mouth. The child excuse. Yeah, most of us have children. What do you expect me to do, coochy coo over it and pat it’s forehead? I hate it when children get used as weapons, because my mum did it all the time to my dad before they split up. Most of the time the child is ignorant towards its surroundings anyway. Also, how could they hear with all of this logical evidence stacked up against you, Mr. Copvirgin.

Oh, did I mention that he’s calling the police? This whole situation was brought along by the ableism towards my overweight and mentally ill father. He was giving him funny looks before we even moved into this s***** little council house. I have some alternative solutions for you. 1. Move you bed away from the wall so that you can’t hear the shower. 2. Grow up and stop judging people based on their appearance, you’re like f****** forty. 3. Stop sending your bimbo girlfriend to glare at us like MJ from the new Spider Man film, because it’s stalking and it’s rude.

You’ll probably be too dumb to adhere to those rules anyway, yet you expect us to adhere to yours. Every other neighbour hates you Mr. Copvirgin, why don’t you leave town to get your daughter away from the angry mob. If you were in the same situation where I used to live, they’d rip her apart. She’s a nice kid, she deserves a good upbringing. But we were doing nothing wrong and it’s your greed and hostility that’s to blame.

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