I'm a gay guy living in a homophobic country. For me ''falling in love'' has always been a pain. I can't confess nor i can talk about my feelings at all.

5 years

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I’m a gay guy living in a homophobic country. For me ”falling in love” has always been a pain. I can’t confess nor i can talk about my feelings at all.

My first love happened in 5th grade. I fell in love with my friend who really kinda protected me from bullying and stuff. Back then I didn’t have any idea about s***** orientations but still we never got together maybe cuz we were far too young.

Anyways the second one was really successful. Happened in 7th grade, at this point I had realized how unaccepted my orientation is. I fell for this guy who always took care for me but i really didn’t like him in any way. I think i had eyes for someone else. But then our friendship started and we are hitting high on that puberty ride. I fell for him super f****** hard and soon enough my feelings were reciprocated. We held hands and touched each other sensitive parts (no not the g*******) during out classes but then for some reason my gay panic hit me hard and I kinda broke up with him. Maybe it was internalized homophobia idk.
One important thing is that we never said we loved each other but just touched hands and thighs etc. It was really awkward in the highschool for us after this.

aaand then the college happened. Unlike the last two times this boy never really had a conversation with me for like two years. I just admired him and stared at him for 2 years cause he was so F****** GORGEOUS like holy s***. We barely exchanged like 5 sentences in these 2 years but boi he was my dream bf but it never happened. One thing he had common with my last two crushes/loves is that he was polar opposite of me. Confident, outspoken and social.

Finally same thing is happening at university. I am again in love with this beautiful, beautiful guy who is just the opposite of me. I cant move on bcz i have to see his face everyday and perhaps get to talk with him. I should be more mature at this point but i feel like a little teenage boy again. Same old feelings of unrequited love, same old ”blank” moments when i’m around him.
The worst part is I always have fallen for straight guys, because there is no gay guy here. I don’t want to join some underground s** community to f*** men because my feelings towards boys have always been genuine and romantic. The reason my 2nd crush worked was probably because of our hormones and puberty stuff but now my university life has also been ruined by this restlessness of love.

New Confession

We rented a room in our house to an older lady (she is like 60) and when she moved in she asked if I could help move stuff and she would pay me. (I am 17 M) so I am like sure and helped her move her bedroom set, tv, etc… and got paid $50 so I am like cool.

When she paid me, she was hugging me and telling me how strong I am. She was touching me all over and I got excited and she was staring and smiled. I am kind of big there and was cammando that day, she she could see the outline and size thru the nylon basketball shorts.

Every week when I family is at work, she asks me for help with stuff in her room, like hooking up TV, moving furniture and stuff. Yesterday she asked for help, and was only wearing a short robe and underwear. Her robe would not stay closed and I saw her P#nties and bra, and she looked pretty decent. It got me excited seeing her and she asked me if I needed help with that and pointed to by engourged c#ck,

She walked over to me and her rope was again wide open, and she held my c#ck thru my shorts and started playing with it and stroking it. She told me she would like to see it if that is OK, and she pulled my shorts down, exposing me n#ked. She said she was so impressed with how big I was and asked if it would be OK if she kissed it for me. (of course I am like OK) She dropped down to her knees and took me in her mouth, she was an expert, and made me all wet, and she was humming, which made a vibration on my thing, and made me really excited.

She pushed me down on her bed and stopped kissing me there… she said it has been a long time since I had such a nice c#ck inside me, would it be OK if I put it inside of me for a little. As she spoke, she removed her robe and underwear, and climbed on top of me… she was stroking my thing and rubbing it on her privates… I could feel she was very wet. She smiled as she guided me inside of her and sat down on my c#ck making me go all the way inside.

She rode me like a pro. I did not tell her this was my first time to have i**********. She was moaning and pretty sure having org#sms because everything was wet, actually soaked… she removed her bra and put my hands on her t#ts. When she did this, I got really excited and told her I was going to c#m, and she went crazy and humped me even more. I filled her insides and I am pretty sure she org#smed again.

When she got off me, she went down on me again, and was moaning, stroking, and licking me there. Putting me in her mouth again, I got excited and my tool was hard and she smiled and climbed on top of me but facing away from me. It was great because I could watch her b#tt as she slid up and down on my tool. We both orgasmed again and she thanked me over and over and said it was wonderful.

She told me I was welcome to come by anytime I needed relief, or was stressed. She told me this is out secret, you can use me anytime day or night… I have been going to her room daily now since she moved in… she never complains and is always ready to please me…

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My teeth rotating like razor blades spinning on a diamond tip saw chewing off legs like a lawnmower on nitrous .

-Demon Kane.