I’m so f****** lonely, man… it’s just getting to me right now, and it just hurts a lot. I wish I could just forget the pain… but everything I’m watching now suddenly is just tinted with that twinge of sad loser loneliness, like “damn, that looks so cool, I wish I had someone to make that for right now.” “Man, I wish someone would be doing that for me right now… I wish we were both in the kitchen right now, even.”
I just wanna make things with someone and cover their face in kisses and hold them close…

And yet I often feel so SO ugly, ESPECIALLY lately, that I feel like… bad somehow? by just trying to even approach someone or try? F***, man..

I’m so f****** lonely. I hate it. I feel so unlovable even tho I KNOW that isn’t true.

The ONLY one who hates me right now IS ME.
The ONLY one who thinks I’m too ugly to love IS ME.

Why can’t I ever cut myself a break?? Why can’t I stop hating myself so much? I’m a genuinely good person with a good heart and I’m f*****’ SMART and just.. I AM an okay person, damnit.

So why can’t I stop giving myself such a hard time? If I could just stop doing that to myself, I could actually go about trying to MEET someone, damnit!