K, it’s M

Look, I want to talk to you see you, I wish we could be something, anything to each other Part of this with me now is I’m looking at everything since we last spoke and my problem with you over the past decade or so is not that I don’t care, or whatever other negativity I spew at you, there’s a few times I am pretty sure we saw each other and I straight up dodged you. I know that, I act angry like I am mad, and I say things like never, because I don’t think or believe you care that much if it all. The opposite actually. I feel like you’ryou’re trying to cause me problems. I am putting up a wall.

But if the reason you keep doing all this stuff around me is you want to get close to me in some way, well I would rather you come to me and just talk to me. If you need me, I am not going to hold anything against you, no matter what it is. Kids, marriage, whatever I won’t shoot a million angry questions at you expecting an answer. I need someone right now, who knows me and cares. If you do too, you know where I am. I have no idea how to get into contact with you. I sent you a “hi” the other day the only way I know how, from my phone to that one address I have always known, but I don’t know if it’s still active or even in your hands. I said Hi and it’s from my phone number.

If you need me, don’t go around me to anyone, just come to me. If you see me out there, pull me over. Drop by that place if you want to. If you have my number, just call me or text me.

I don’t think I can do this place any more though. It’s too painful for me reading this stuff the past few weeks I feel like nothing. Its hurting me. I know you can see what’s up with me, the big picture, what noone else sees, and for a long time. You know what I’m up to and not. I do need someone. I would like it to be you. I need your support while I fix some things, and I want to be that for you too if you need it.

You know where I am.