Today I cried 4: (17.11.19) I had an exam today and it went horribly. I thought I had studied for it, but it was so bad. And this is just the mock exam. What will I do on The actual day? All the others were also saying how bad it was, but their standards are higher than mine. Everyone thinks I got a good score, because I usually do, but not this time. When I saw my marks, I was so close to a panic attack. I could feel my heart thumping in the chest. And the smell of sweat and suffocation making me sick. I need to study more. But I do. I studied and I got many questions right at home. But not in the actual exam. Nothing makes sense anymore. I truly considered dying. It won’t be so miserable then. I could just be gone and nobody would have to face my failures. But I won’t give up. I will fight for myself and my life.