A person I knew from school tried to hang herself yesterday. She was declared braindead. If she’s not responsive by tomorrow they’re going to take her off life support. I didn’t know her that well but we live in a very tightknit neighborhood and it still hurts a lot. She’s the second friend who’s tried to commit in the past year and a half. I feel so helpless, like there’s nothing I can do. Our school has had countless suicide awareness things and just two weeks ago there was this group thing where a bunch of people spent the whole day thinking up ways to make people feel less alone, and she was there with us. Tomorrow at school we’re probably going to get the news that she’s dead and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel guilty for even having suicidal thoughts. Like I said, I barely knew her and yet her death has impacted all of us this much. I hope she survives, and gets better. I keep seeing how the world goes on without her, even though she’s not there to experience it. Going on as if nothing happened to her. I can’t help but thinking about everything I might’ve said to her, have I ever unintentionally made her feel bad? The news was shocking. She seemed like a an average happy girl. I guess anybody can be good at putting up a façade. I only wish I can live at least another day seeing her alive and happy, even if we’re not friends.

Sorry that’s so long, I just don’t feel like venting all this to somebody I know.