I don’t want to feel sad anymore. I’m not depressed, I just feel very low at times. I want school to be back in session because now that I think about it, school has been a help to be more happy. I constantly have flashbacks from traumatizing events, being in a mental hospital and being able to convince the staff that I was normal, I feel accomplished of being able to disguise myself well, but disgusted that I didn’t end up getting the help I needed. My therapist… the one who sent me away… she said that I had something wrong in my head, that I wasn’t human, I was brain dead, retarded, that something wrong in my head, she’s right. This stuck to me like gum on carpet after being stepped on, and whenever something bad happens or I make a mistake, the words of my therapist shoot me through like a bullet. I want this pain to stop , but I don’t want to die. When I grow up; I think it’s better for me to go fly to a different country, where I can finally reincarnate and give another shot.
