This Month i
-Got a speeding ticket
-Was mocked by my writing professor for my essay(“are you expecting the reader to have some kind of m.night shymalan twist realization?”
-Learned I had HPV and had to have a very painful surgery to remove “very small active lesions”, which involved putting a kind of ACId on my private parts
-Rearended someone and totally wrecked the hood of my car, as well as damaged the car of the person in front of me
-Got fired from my first job
I don’t know what it is I’m doing. I feel like as hard as I try it’s all pointless. I don’t even know what I want or why I’m in school, I don’t have any clear motivation and everything I thought could push me forward is crumbling around me. I think about committing suicide every day and I feel like with every shitty thing that has happened (and these are only the major events) I’m one step closer to just doing it. I can’t make sense of anything. I feel lost and angry and pathetic and hopeless. I don’t know what to do.