I’ve had a really close friend for over a year now. We’ve been through a lot together and are best friends but like a bunch of s*** happened and I broke the trust between us while trying help him out in something. What happened is a long story but I apologised profusely and genuinely felt like suicidal from guilt but he keeps saying it’s fine but I know he really hasn’t forgiven me though it’s not like what I did was really something bad. Now every time I like see him around in school I just feel like a complete d*** and I really doubt my abilities to be a good friend anymore. Now I really have basically no one I’m close to since he was my only close friend and now I’m too self conscious of everything I do that people get sick of me. Like I do things like “am I too annoying” or “I’m sorry you probably don’t care but..” or I don’t even like talk much cos I don’t wanna repeat of the b******* that happened before. Rip my high school life I really wanna die