F#$%^$#^ing crap!!!!!!! I’m going rad at this moment!!!!
I’m in a real hating mood now I can’t stand how it just is. It s**** really does how I get blamed for the slightest thing. I feel like my friend doesn’t realize I’m driving him to work in the morning and I don’t want to start my day nagging. He’s sometimes late in the morning, I never was a late person until his attitude got to me and I feel like now I’m dragged into that sick energy field of anger. So pissed. But this is the way things are, if I tell him about it the way I’m writing about it now it will create a different issue. It will not open the communication but would close it and make it worse for me to tell him what’s really going on inside of me. I’m really sick of feeling down about this s***, I’m sick of carrying his own crap on my shoulders. I want end!! Tomorrow morning if he’s not at my door around 7:20 I’m leaving. If he’s going to be angry well it’s not my problem anymore, I don’t want to be late for work or anyone to be late for his work on my expense. I’m not responsible for him, I’m not his father. Not his older brother, I have more important s*** on my a** to deal with, more cheerful things to think about if you ask me, I don’t want to feel guilty for someone else’s crap anymore cause I’m JUST FED UP WITH IT.
Seriously good luck to him!
I’m going to start now, am going to do something I really enjoy. Wish me luck people 🙂
May the best happen!
OAG
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ooooh and a side note to this…I feel like an idiot for putting myself in this bloody routine and buying what people think and all the crap. You know what? what people think or feel is just temporary, if someone gives you a hard time with the guilt trip shit they’re not even worth the attention cause it’s all nonsense! it doesn’t make sense and the more you feed the situation with anger (like I did for a while now) the more it gets worse and not even a quarter of the problem is solved. Thank God for this site…it surely holds the space for one to express the crap in a decent non violent way. I seriously need to calm down about this, study the consequences and what I’m really afraid of and if it’s worth it or not.
Thank you all, whoever is still reading this.
OAG
Yep, sounds like you’re going to straighten our your shit tomorrow. Good luck with that! Tell us how it goes.
T.A.
I snapped last night…my friend was starting in front of the other band members.
“It’s omar’s fault we couldn’t do the practice at 7 today, he had tai chi class. He told me last minute about it and we had to change it from 7 to 10…”
and I snapped “okay so why don’t you turn this into a bloody spanish inquisition and get on with it!!!!” I turned away carrying my guitar…went inside to the practice room.
and he just stood there in a pause thinking what happened to me…why did I snap like that? I left inside to the practice room. He was smashing objects in his way meanwhile still carrying his instrument and the guys teasing around. So a typical band practice that just has to have someone snapping at the other. It just has to have a guilt trip here and there. Later in the evening we joked around and it was nothing after all. I’m just in a screwed up mood and I hate people messing around with me when I’m like that…and my friend didn’t do anything wrong in particular. I was just snappy and I hope all goes for the best. The practice was good last night!
What’s your band called?
T.A.