10-11-10(17:36:17)

My best friend had this enormous crush on another girl who was already committed, and he used to moan about it a lot before. he was always missing her, or thinking of her, and he always told me, and i always comforted him. we were the best of friends. then one day this sort of sweet guy asked me out and i said yes, and when i said this to my best friend, his face went so strange that i was instantly convinced i’d done something wrong.my relationship with that other guy fizzled out in a couple of months, cos i couldnt stand him being so emotionally dependent on me and wanting me around every minute of the day, and my best friend was always there for me whenever i needed a shoulder to cry on. sometime after the breakup, my best friend told me that he’s had feelings for me recently once he realized that he was upset about the wrong girl, and he was going to tell me that day when i told him i’m going out with somebody else. now, he said, he loves me, and i mean the world to him. i told him i’d rather just be friends cos i cant bear to lose him, and he was fine with that, and we went along, being friends, but now i’m thinking i;m in love with him too, and it’s becoming very hard to find a reason not to get into a relationship, though we both know there isnt so much of a future for us together once we get out of college in the next couple of years. if it doesnt have an end, is there much of a point, because i really love him, and i dont want to lose him ever. i cant find a flaw in him that would want me to stay away.i cant be without him for more than half a day,but i want to have the strength to let him go when the time comes, and i’m no longer sure i can. what can i do??

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