I lied to my girlfriend that I came when we had gone hot and heavy the other night. I felt terrible for lying. It did not mean I did not enjoy what we were doing but I was getting really tired and I felt like I did a disservice by saying I wasn’t satisfied. But she already knew. When I told her she said she already knew, she knows when I’m just not into it then and when getting tired.
It didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it, I did a lot. I was just getting tired and had a lot on my mind, very stressed out about my job, figuring out where im gonna move. My mind was full of stress that I couldn’t focus on trying to satisfy eachother that night and feeling satisfaction. I did not want to disappoint her.. but she knew i didnt. .
It was quite uncomfortable telling the truth. But it felt worse lying. I feel like there’s always a pressure for me to perform and to c** when we go at it, and most of the time that doesn’t happen. She knows when I don’t. But I couldn’t own it and I instead decided to lie and I hate that I lied to her. Even on a thing that really wasn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things.. I know it just happens sometimes that a guy cant c**.. I feel terrible for trying to hide it..
I’m not even sure why I’m posting on here. I owned it to her, she knew, for now it doesn’t seem like it was a big deal to her otherwise she would’ve stopped doing what she was doing to talk to me about it. But I don’t know, can’t say tomorrow will be the same day as today. I don’t wanna be a liar to her and I don’t like this terrible old habit of mine to fib just to make someone else happy. I do not want to be like this person anymore.
