Back to stranger feelings, 2 years ago, your friend(which is my internet bff) recommend you as someone I can talk. Quickly as I don’t want to waste time, I send message to you but— such a bad timing coz you have colds that time. So I ended up not talking to you for almost 2 weeks. Randomly I see your name on your friend’s shared post so I decided to join in and have a little talks. Little did I know how cowardice am I to start conversation in comment sections. It was such a joyous time and you made my day that time.
Fast-forward to present time, such a long journey we got. 2 years and I remain such a coward for I hold up my feelings for you. Always uses lame excuse “that I still love my last mutual relationship” to your friend to hide what I feel for you. Quickly as time elapsed, you confess to me. It was your debut, 18th birthday, I am in shock. I feel joyful that time and I wanna jump the highest skyscraper I can found but sadly— I use, as always, the lame excuse I can found. I am a coward. I ended up lying to you. I did mean to lie for I fear my own future won’t be as good. I do not wish to see you slowly lose interest with me. Yes, I have trauma on past mutual relationship. I do not want to lose you nor I do not want those feelings to become a stranger feelings again. So, I choose a safer path, I lied and— stayed where we are. I’m sorry! I lied. I’m sorry. Years may fly by so fast and if you fall to some else, I’ll smile and look back and say, “You found the one who is willing to fight you on courageous stance,” slowly burning those dreams I have plan. I will not cry, I’ll carry this pain as lessons for my cowardice act.
