Truth
I am a monster. I have lied to myself and others for so long I truly believed I was someone else.
I lied, I’ve been lying to everyone I love and every one who loved me.
The only thing I can do is to confess to what I did and tell the truth.
My eyes have been open. I have been living in a lie for 29 years about the circumstances of my childhood. I cannot clearly separate the lie from the truth. If what follows is true, I can only pray for forgiveness.
“When anyone becomes aware that they are guilty in any of these matters, they must confess in what way they have sinned” (Leviticus 5:5)
When I was a child, I was curious about my body and the bodies of others.
• I touched my sister
• I touched my brother
• I touched my cousins
When I was a teenager it continued. I continued to molest the people close to me.
• I touched my sister
• I touched my cousins
I remember I was caught by my father while I slept with my sister.
I remember when I was in college, I entered an ex’s house and molested her while she slept.
I remember when my mother asked if I had ever touched my cousins and I lied.
Everything that has happened to this family started from this lie.
I believe that this series of events have had consequences so large it’s hard to comprehend.
All of the hate that my father has had thrust upon him because of this lie.
Attempting suicide to escape from the monster that I was. To escape from the lie without telling the truth.
I have I sinned and done what is evil
I was a monster. I wish I could go back. I wish I could change things.
I’m so sorry.
