I’m scared people will find out, because someone tried to out me as a joke, I got scared because people took it seriously and I denied everything, but I can’t stop staring at her. I don’t blame my friend, i haven’t told her so she thought it was an innocent joke.
Now I am stuck because if I come out everyone will ask why I denied so hard. I am scared I will weird out everyone at school, girls still make gay jokes. People have been making gay jokes at me since I was little. I hate thinking I fulfil whichever stereotype they tried to pin on me.
Even if I came out no one will like or love me back. I get to spend the rest of my youth watching my friends be happy whilst I try to convince myself that someone will ever accept my love.
I’m still figuring out how to tell him, he said he loved me and I stayed quiet because I know I don’t feel the same. I am a terrible person because I know I am using him as a cover. I am a terrible person. I am a liar.