60 plus male. 40 years ago my first homosexual experience. Told myself it was because I was drunk didn’t know what I was doing. A lie to be sure. Knew what I was doing felt ashamed because I liked it. Like performing f******* and I liked being sodomized. Fantasize still. M********* and think of being with a man. Even when I’m with my unsuspecting wife. I’m pathetic and I’m a coward.