I’ve been married for 6 months now.
I adore my husband & have always been 100% honest with him. Until now because I’ve got a secret. About a month after our wedding my period was late. I was freaking out as I take my birth control responsibly. And I am still unsure if I ever want children but definitely not now. I told him my fear & his reaction scared me more. He was ecstatic. He told me if I was we would figure it out. But financially it made no sense. I already work two jobs & he work 6 days a week 12 hour shifts. Yet we still have debt up to our neck. I took a pregnancy test one night while he was working. I was pregnant. I was devastated. I made an appointment two days later at an abortion clinic. They confirmed I was pregnant just over 4 weeks. I returned the next day & took the pill to stop my pregnancy from progressing & the following day I took the other two pills. Passing the embryo was painful but nothing more physically painful as a regular menstrual period for me. I wish I could have just never been pregnant, like I told my husband. But I don’t regret my decision to end the pregnancy. I am definitely not prepared to carry a pregnancy to term let alone raise a child. My only regret is being dishonest with my husband. But I felt I couldn’t tell him. We’d disagree on what should be done. Then with me going through with it I could see him carrying guilt in his heart. Now he gets to pursue better for himself. He gets to focus on his own goals & we get to share building our future together. I just am pained to know I will forever carry this secret. I hate that I have lied to him. I love him. But it’s done & I’ve accepted my choice. I wish I had never become pregnant but I’m so thankful I had the choice to stop it. I’m grateful to not have been forced into parenthood or carrying a pregnancy.

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