I cheated on my boyfriend and when he almost caught me i was drunk and freaked out and ran outside called 911 and lied about being raped eventhough i’ve been raped before and never told anyone. I have no idea why i did this or what i was thinkinh but i cant live with myself anymore. Now he has broken up with me cause he knows the truth eventhough he hasnt said he knows the truth. He just said he cant trust me anymore for various reasons. I have now lost the love of my life over something i dont remember doing, and ive never been more lost or hated myself more. I deserve this, i know i do, but i love him and all i want i to turn back time.