Same person who makes up Triggers when I want others to shut up. I often want to tell my bestfriend to shut the f*** up and s*** whenever he whines stuff at me that i dont really care about or also sometimes i really want him to feel bad with himself for stuff he has nothing to do with.
For example, he gets art from other people of his characters, and I feel like that art is better than mine? I would really enjoy to tell him that he doesnt deserve it and that other people are just using him and they dont care about him.
Does he really deserve it? Of course not, but i dont care as long as i feel in control and feel better than everyone else. Why dont i do it then? Because i have to mantain an image, ofc. It would be dumb to just be rude to everyone and then have no toy to play with.
Im a big hypocrite. I feel like what I do is okay while being aware it is not but i dont really care, but when someone else does something like that i want them to kill themselves out of guilt for doing what they do. Of course then i would be angry if someone told me to kill myself for continuing to do what I want to.
All Comments
You might be a narcissist or sociopath
Heavy narcissist. I do feel bad afterwards, not as in “it was just the heat of the moment but it passed”, but more like “this is a very toxic cycle why do i even do this i want to stop”
Just like right now, hours later, where I actually feel sad and guilty and want to ask for help, opposite to when I made the post with all the confidence in the world.
This is quite awful. I know for sure that in a few hours I’ll remember this reply and think “Wtf why would i even bother typing that, not getting caught with this shit is great, no downsides on this other than heavy lies”, and hours after that I’ll be back to this resentful and horribly guilty state hh
Narcissism? I can relate-sort of.
People around me are stupid and naive. When I was in school (7th grade to the middle of 9th grade) I could get people to do my homework. I knew the answers but I was too lazy to write them. I acted really well and I even manipulated my teachers to boost my grades 10 or more points.
I tended to act quiet and shy but secretly, I was blackmailing and bribing everyone. Even my best friend was hella dumb and it ticked me off!