Hello. So, my name is Ryan. Lately, I have been plagued with guilt. I’m in a relationship with whom I consider to be my significant other; we have made plans to be married in the future, and we are very happy together. However, our relationship began online. We met in a game, and we slowly began to develop a deeper interest in one another. Suffice it to say, one thing lead to another and we ended up meeting each other for the first time last year.

Things have honestly just been going spectacularly from there. We’ve bonded, we share everything with one another, and most of all? We don’t fight. I have been in abusive relationships in the past where my girlfriend would yell and scream at me over the slightest provocation, but I had resolved to not let that happen again. So, we don’t fight. Instead, when one of us is on the verge of anger, we both just stop and pause for a few minutes. After we’ve simmered down a bit, we talk about it and resolve it like civilized people instead of yelling at each other. Honestly, when we’re together I couldn’t be any happier. She has a child, and I have stepped into the role of a step-father willingly. She loves spending time and playing with me, as I do her – which I really didn’t expect. She’s 7.

So, the problem comes in when I go home and we’re apart again. I find myself lying to her, saying that I’m busy or that I’m somewhere I’m not to avoid getting into long phone calls with her. I love her, truly I do, but I don’t love long distance relationships and all of the technical hurdles that HAVE to be dealt with. I don’t like that when we chat on the phone, sometimes family come into her room and start talking over her. It interrupts our conversation. Sometimes she has to get up and help her daughter with something, which is also another disruption that doesn’t bother me when we’re together. So, sometimes I avoid phone calls so I can prevent frustration for myself but I don’t tell her that. I’m afraid that she would take it the wrong way (she’s a rather sensitive person), so I figure it’s just easier to protect her from potentially hurting her feelings and it keeps me from getting frustrated and annoyed while I’m talking to her.

I never do this type of thing when we’re together. I want to be a good husband and a good father, but these things stain me. At least, I feel like they do, even if they eat at me nigh constantly. I want to do right by her, but I feel like such a terrible person for sometimes avoiding her. I’m so sorry.