I dated this girl for 3 years, we broke up but got back together after we were in our senior year of highschool
I never stopped being in love with her and we broke up a bit after our one year that was 6 months ago now and she’s still my best friend
and I’m still so in love with her
I’ve never liked anyone for so long
I never even get crushes, I never have I just stuck to curiosities in other people
every relationship I’ve had I compared them to her
I lost a close friend because I fucked her in my grief post breakup , we were all kind of friends
I feel like a mutt for her, I’d do anything she tells me to
I love her
I love her so much it hurts I love her to the point of guilt
I dont know what was her dealbreaker
is she just straight? does she not like girls? but then why would she come back to me? why would she build my love for her up all over again just to change her mind
she promised it would’ve been different but then it wasn’t
why would she tell me that I was her golden standard too? why does she keep telling me her ideal type is just me if I was a boy?
it doesn’t hurt when she talks about her new crushes when she talks about the boys she likes or is talking to
what hurts the most is when she’s disappointed again when she gets bored of them when she says she misses the attention
I just can’t help but wonder does she know how much I miss her?
I lose my head around her
it’s passable most days but tonight I just can’t help but sob my heart out