When I was in my 8th grade I have attempted to suicide by jumping up from a three floor building ,did it and somehow I survived with broken bones with

10 months

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When I was in my 8th grade I have attempted to suicide by jumping up from a three floor building ,did it and somehow I survived with broken bones with multiple fractures and now I don’t know for what silly reason I have done it. Now I really regret it now life feels f****** s*** that I am able to do daily chores but I am not as powerful as my aged men. F****** S*** ah! F*** it man

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Everyday I feel more and more severely depressed at the fact that I have failed to kill myself several times i just want to be happy and forget about everything I keep repeating my destructive desires one more painful lesson and I will just end it