I’m a p*** addict…and unfortunately it’s gotten to the point where I look up cub and feral content.
I hate myself for it, and feel full of guilt, shame, and self hatred every time I look it up. It’s like my mind shifts when I get in the mood to look things up and I despise the person I become in those moments.
I know it’s me…but it’s a me I hate.
I don’t want this to be me…and I haven’t told my boyfriend the truth. I’m terrified he’ll hate me if I do. Terrified he’ll leave me out of disgust.

I don’t know what to do, and it feels so wrong keeping such a thing from him. Even if i’m in therapy and trying to recover from this problem, I still feel like I’m living such a terrible lie. I feel like I’m a monster.