I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but I had sex with my younger brother on and off until I was about 13 years old. The first times were always to porn – we’d take turns giving eachother oral sex. It wasnt fun, but we did it anyway. I’m not sure why. When I was 11, while was going through trouble with one of my first real girlfriends, he and I actually really fucked for the first time – it wasnt good then, either. The bugs ate us up. The last time we had sex was when my mom got really hurt. We went into her bedroom, he gave me oral, and we had real, actually good sex. It ended after that. We got really close one day – 2020 I think? before we both called it off to be faithful to our current partners. Then he raped my fiancee last summer. A recurring thought of mine is revenge – but I can’t do that. It’s not worth it, I have a child (That is definitely mine,) and he needs serious help – cocsa, and our father abusing him really fucked him up. I just needed to get this whole thing off my chest. I dont exactly blame him, the cocsa was initiated by me if I remember correctly, Its pretty hazy. Maybe it was revenge on his part. I dont know. I just wish none of this ever happened.
