I feel like a bad father for having 6 children but only 3 currently live with me.. my wife knows about my oldest, whos mother hates me and refuses to let me see her , she got full custody and i had before I got married – but she actually only learned about her until a few years after we got married bc I told her Sara got an abortion when she moved away

The second one, and she doesn’t know about it, was with an ex girlfriend of mine who is also married and wanted something different bc her husband works all the time – they live out of state and since she already had a child with him she wanted to stay married – so we kept the whole thing a secret – he thinks his second daughter is his and she has his last name – the mom doesn’t want to lose his tremendously high income and a divorce that was caused by this would kill her chances of high dollar child support since Cassandra isn’t actually his biological daughter

So I only see her on Facebook and am glad her mom is so wonderful

The third one was with a much younger girl, who was a coworker and my wife was struggling with infertility – my wife’s infertility made me crazy I think and knowing I already had 2 children that I never got to see and would never get to see drive me mad – and after the company Christmas party one year she was drunk and I took her to her apartment and well we had s** and she got pregnant …
But she also already had decided she wanted to get pregnant with me if later learn – she had her mind set on getting pregnant by me the first week she started working for me she would later admit – and she knew I was married and didn’t care – she just wanted to have my baby despite being 15 years younger than me at age 21..

Then my wife got “pregnant” with our first child together – note: the egg came from my wife’s little sister who was only 19 … my wife’s eggs had gotten to old – so she asked her half sister Amanda to donate her eggs and she said yes …. So at the same time my secret GF Katie was pregnant with her first child –

My sister in law was acting as the surrogate mother for my children – and well – I couldn’t help myself when it was just her and I at the hospital and afterwards I cheated on my wife with her little sister who was pregnant with OUR baby – it was wonderful being a father who got to be INVOLVED with my child and I got so spent a lot of time with not only my wife – but more importantly to me – I got to spend a lot of time with my wife’s little sister who was the real birth mom and OUR baby / even though legally she belongs to my wife and me – very confusing

But that bliss didn’t last long and I know but during Covid lockdown I got my friends wife pregnant by accident – we were having an affair and things got out of hand …

So it caused her divorce and then she lost the baby to miscarriage and was devastated … she also hated being a single mom and the news almost destroyed my marriage

But not long later Michelle started talking to a guy online and got married – he was an Iraq war vet and had bad p**** and testicular problems and doctors saying he could never have kids … so imagine his delight (?) about 2 months into his marriage when he finds out his wife is pregnant!!!

Well, Michelle and I had been seeing each other and that’s how she fell pregnant by accident – I knew she wasn’t on birth control but I had just turned 40 and she was still 29 and it just felt right … anyways – she wanted to keep it a secret from her husband because he had a good job and had good military retirement benefits and she didn’t want to break his heart that his miracle child cooper was actually the son of another man…

So we keep the whole thing a secret for 4 years now

Messed up I know

Then my wife wants to have another child and her sister “refuses” to donate her eggs or body again and makes my wife mad …. Bc my wife does t know about what her sister and I have together because it tears her sisters soul and she got bitter but still kept the secret …

So then my wife literally asked my cousin Rayne if she would do it and donate eggs – they actually work together believe it or not – and Rayne , who’s about 19 years younger than me , said yes – at first to only egg donation – but after my wife lost the first baby tk miscarriage – it hurt Rayna so much she aoffered to be the surrogate … and she even moved in to live with us . And well you can imagine how that ended on nights my wife fell asleep I’d go up to Raynes room and we’d fool around even while she was pregnant lol – and from time to time afterwards and she gave me a beautiful son Herald who I love deeply

Ray be became infatuated with me and eventually was literally begging me to have another child

My wife only wanted 2 though – she said 2 was enough ….

So when Rayne fell pregnant again – it was so hard to tell her – so at first Rayne just said she was drunk at a party and doesn’t know who the father is –

But when she moved back in and she and I kept having s** – eventually my wife asked me when Rayne was 6 months pregnant …

Are you the father of Raynes child ? And I said yes – and she was f****** furious

But then after a few months she got over it

My wife still hates me – like HATES ME – and probably wants a divorce … but she knows she barren and that likely no man will want her now that she’s in her 30s and is technically the “mother” of 3 children …

Rayne eventually graduated college and – wait for it – got accepted to medical school in Virginia – so I became the full custody father and she moved away but visits at Christmas and holidays – that was 2 years ago

So why wife who hates me to her course and I try to raise our happy family of 3 together –

And I constantly worry that my wife will find out about any of the 3 illegitimate children I had with other women in the last couple of years will somehow burst into our lives and my wife will leave me and the divorce will finanallu riin me

Being 45 isn’t easy