im someone who shows myself to perverts online for the sake of it
i was exposed to p*** when i was around 9-10 years old, ever since then I’ve been regularly watching/reading p***. at first it was morbid curiosity but eventually as time passed, i think it sort of became an addiction. no matter how many times i got caught by my parents or how low my grades were getting because i was spending so much time on p***. i always thought that it wouldn’t really have any actual effect on me and i was simply reading/watching it to pass the time and that i would never do what they were doing. EVER. and i was reading and seeing ppl doing rather disturbing acts (r***/b*********/necrophilia/etc..etc ), in particular i was fascinated by exhibitionism and i read quite a bit of that almost everyday… it wasn’t long before the stimulation that p*** could provide wasn’t extreme enough for me so i started taking it upon myself to basically be the p***.
i went to school without wearing my underwear or took off my clothes in the bathroom stalls and stuffed all kinds of unusual objects into my p****, but none of that ever seemed to bring me pleasure like it seemed to bring the exhibitionists in the p*** hell i couldn’t even feel it inside me , this went on for about a week until i snapped out of it. fast forward to the time when we had preparational holidays for one of the most important exams in my country , i was stripping for people who were 2-5x my age. i always got wet and all but i never came, it wasn’t particularly exciting and i was mostly disgusted by the people who were jerking off, and i don’t really know why I’m doing this, even now i cant stop reading exhibitionism manga. i honestly wish i would just stop and study but i cant seem to want to stop, i think I’m a s***. i dont even feel pleasure, theres no reason for me to do what i did yet i do it almost everyweek, its honestly making me so disgusted with myself yet kinda gives me a sense of self worth and i think im depressed and have adhd but the problem is that i have no real way of knowing im literally 15, i have no buisness meddling in adult s*** ya know