I was riding a rollercoaster with my friend and 2 of his friends. I was sat next to my friend in one of the middle rows and his friends (who I didn’t really know) sat in the next row of seats behind us. It’s the kind of roller coaster where you’re “in flight”, so the locking mechanism swings down from the top and restrains your upper body and arms while your legs dangle free. We didn’t even get halfway through the ride when I really needed to spit.

For whatever reason, probably due to some snack I’d eaten previously, I had really gooey, sticky saliva like the kind you get after drinking sugary beverages like orange juice. It was filling my mouth and was so disgusting, it was all I could think about and it was ruining my fun.

Being an immature 16yo, I instead thought maybe if I timed it right, I could spit out the side of the ride and the force would kick the loogie out and away from the ride and not towards the people behind me. We went into an inward curve and I watched proudly as my massive loogie sailed away into the wind.

Except it wasn’t. I knew I fucked up when I could hear my friend screaming, “SOMEONE SPIT IN MY FACE SOMEONE SPIT IN MY FACE WHAT THE F*** I’M GONNA KILL WHOEVER WHO SPIT IN MY FACE”
I think his friends and I cried from laughing the rest of the ride while he was shrieking. The best part was because the restraints were so bulky, my friend’s hands couldn’t reach his face and he couldn’t slip his arms between the bar and his chest to wipe it off. He spent the rest of the ride with my giant loogie on his face.