TW: 0nl1n3 gr00m1ng, 1 mention of possible su1c1d3 (sort of)

So, I’ve been talking to someone for two weeks now. He was the host of this server on discord. And, I’ve actually known him for around three months, but we never really talked, you know? I’m not going into detail when we started being close, but eventually, it reached a point where I would always be the one to comfort him. He told me things, made me believe I play this huge role in his life, that I’m his only support, that he depends on me. I still believe these things.

He started becoming more intimate with me. He’s told me many compliments that made me happy, yet at the same time sickened me. He’s talked about inappropriate things with me. I also want to say that I am dating someone, and I love my partner dearly, which is why I feel so guilty this person’s compliments and affection thrill me. I was enthralled, and I still am because I can’t stop talking to him. He always mentions that I consented to this, that I told him I was comfortable with this. So, why is it every time he’s on my mind and that’s almost every minute, my heart hurts, I feel like there are painful ropes tied all over me, I want to cry?

A friend of mine told me that’s just my brain’s way of keeping me sane enough, that I’m gaslighting myself into believing I like these things, that these things are okay, so I don’t snap to the point of wanting to end my life.

I feel like this disgusting person.